Flying solo and love reimagined

I have been flying solo for a few weeks with my man working away from home for the past few weeks and we have both been getting a taste of the single life again. We were talking last weekend about the benefit that this time has been to us personally and to our relationship. He has been focusing on his career as a PE teacher, training (swimming, cycling and running) and reading lots of really good personal growth books of an evening. He has also made some new friends in a cycling group that he has been riding with three times a week. I have also been a busy bee with the launch Miss Très Chic, our Mini-Makeovers and a couple of other projects as well that I will share with you soon.

For those of us in a relationship, we can often take our loved ones for granted. It is like a garden, you must tend it each day, water, weed, trim and harvest – otherwise it can become neglected and forlorn! A vibrant and growing relationship with your partner is amazingly good for our mental health and bigger picture here, healthy relationships are the building blocks of our community. Whilst you might not have to be separated for work, there might be other creative ways that you can reignite that spark!

I’ve recently read the book  The Five Love Languages (Gary Chapman) and found it really practical to learn more about both Shaun and myself. Chapman describes how we each give and receive love in different ways. The book is a bestseller which has been around for some time now and has helped many couples to enrich their relationships. I would highly recommend a read. There is also a version for singles and for children.

Eight things I can think of right now (it was seven…it’s growing) that I think are essential in a relationship are:

1) Share your life together – build common goals – make time to touch base about the big picture plans and work together towards those!

2) Communicate – allow one another to talk and express heartfelt appreciation for one another. On our Five Things list we always make one of them something we love and appreciate in the other person. Honour one another in the way you speak to one another and how you speak about your partner to those outside the relationship. Ladies make him your hero, men make her your princess. Our words have power, chose to speak words of life rather than complain. Even if it doesn’t quite match reality, we are all on a journey and positive, life giving words are much better than complaints.

3) Ensure domestic duties are shared and that your home is a sanctuary – a peaceful & clean home environment provides a foundation to relax and enjoy one another’s company.

4) Have fun together, lots of it and all the time, play, laugh, be children again, play tricks on each other – bring the joy back, give each other random gifts or suprises, be spontaneous!!

5) Enjoy a date out together each week – remember when you were courting – reconnect with that time and carefully plan a special outing with your mate (here is an idea from a recent post Mid-Winter’s Date) and take turns to plan the date.

6) Cuddles, hugs and kisses – no explanation required here other than for those of you with a partner whose love language is physical touch, this is essential to keeping us feeling close to you!

7) Don’t stay mad, forgive one another – show grace, let things go without holding it against him or her, we all make mistakes! On the other side of it, it you have been the one to cause the hurt, be genuinely sorry and ask for forgiveness.

 

8) Engage in regular sex and take turns at pursuing the other – for the men reading this (yes I know you are!) a woman needs to feel emotionally close to her man first so make sure you know her love language and love her with all your energy – you will be handsomely rewarded! Here is a link to some tips for men that might be useful. For men, sexual intimacy is what helps them feel close to us ladies – make it a priority and like dinner, don’t serve meat and three veg every night, remember that dress up box you had when you were a little girl, maybe it’s time to re-imagine that princess outfit…..