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Why women do….

December 3, 2012



As women we seem to have an auto pilot function to connect with one another. Some say we are from Venus where we talk en masse, others put it down to nest protection and social insurance that our great-grandmothers invested into whilst the men went out hunting. Whatever theory you subscribe to, there is nothing more apparent than the natural gravitation that women have toward socialising and connecting. I know that one of my favourite things is catching up with a good friend over a nice macchiato and perhaps a good vintage scurrage.

cafe date

Whilst we can be one another greatest advocates and supporters, there is another side to women’s society. There probably isn’t a female reading this that won’t have a painful memory spring to mind when I mention the notions of  betrayal, lies, control, manipulation, jealousy and gossip.

grocery run

(“Celebrating Inner Confidence” – Schick Quattro campaign 2010)

I was discussing this issue with a friend who has recently been through a difficult period in her relationships with female friends. She referred to a series from Oprah’s Lifeclass that had really helped her so I decided to have a look. I found five short (4 minute) videos and spent a few moments watching them. The information really helped me to process some situations that I had personally been confronted with at the time and reminded me of how important it is to operate from a position of peace with yourself. Building your own platform of confidence and self-respect is the key not only to treating others with dignity and respect but also having the wisdom to recognise the underpinning issues of fear and low self-esteem when those near us are pulling out the claws.


Acknowledging that we are all far from perfect can give us the grace to forgive. If the behaviour continues, then comes the difficult decision of what I call the platonic break up. Maybe temporary but most times permanent, it is an essential part of our self-development and is natures way of helping us develop a positive peer group. Consider the five people that influence you the most, think about their attitude, the words they speak, the way they treat others and any other value that is important to you? Would you be satisfied to be an average of those five? We have limited space in life so consider your standards and make your inner circle count!

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